When you’ve spent years perfecting the art of frugality—turning down the thermostat, driving your car into the ground, optimizing grocery shopping to a science—spending money can start to feel…wrong. Even once you’re financially independent, even when you know you’ll never run out of money, the reflex to optimize can be hard to shake.
That’s where your splurge accountability buddy comes in. It may sound a little tongue-in-cheek, but the idea is rooted in a genuine challenge: frugal people need encouragement to enjoy their wealth.
Old Habits Die Hard—Even With Millions in the Bank
You might think that someone sitting on a multi-million dollar portfolio would be dining on caviar and booking luxury cruises. But many financially savvy people continue living on a fraction of what they could spend. Not because they’re cheap in a miserly sense, but because it feels safer. The habit of efficiency is deeply ingrained.
Yet, this mindset can actually hold people back from fully living. After all, what’s the point of winning the money game if you never let yourself enjoy the prize?
Many long-time savers intellectually know they’re secure—but emotionally, they’re still stuck in the scarcity loop. They agonize over every expense, second-guess small luxuries, and measure every purchase against what it could’ve earned in index funds.
And that’s where a good friend can help.
Frugality, Meet Peer Pressure (The Good Kind)
The concept of a splurge accountability buddy is simple: find someone who shares your values, but also sees when you’re being too rigid. This person helps you make the jump from “I could never justify this purchase” to “Maybe this is exactly what I need.”
Let’s say you’re on the fence about buying a new car. Your trusty 23-year-old van still runs, sure—but it’s loud, slow, and smells vaguely of damp upholstery. You’ve talked for years about upgrading, maybe even going electric. But every time you get close, you back off.
Now imagine a friend—someone who’s been through the same mental tug-of-war—says, “Hey, you’ve had a great run with that van. But come on, you’ve been talking about a Tesla for five years. What are you waiting for?”
It can be the nudge you need to stop overthinking and start experiencing.
A Real-Life Case of Splurge Encouragement
Take, for example, a recent shift in my own life. After years of resisting, I finally gave myself permission to retire the ancient van and pick up a new Tesla—something I’ve dreamt about, justified a hundred times, but never pulled the trigger on. What changed? A mix of timing, friendship, and a realization: it was time to stop optimizing and start enjoying.
The car, while not cheap, will become a vehicle (literally) for more experiences—road trips, camping, adventures with friends. Yes, it will cost more than keeping the old van. But what’s money for, if not to turn into meaningful moments?
When I ran the numbers, the new Tesla will probably “cost” me around $10,000 per year in lost investment returns, depreciation, insurance, and maintenance. But compared to what I could be spending, and what I’ve saved by living so far below my means all these years, it’s a small price for a big leap forward in comfort and joy.
Philanthropy and the Permission to Enjoy
Now, whenever you talk about enjoying wealth, the question inevitably comes up: Why not give it all away instead? And yes—philanthropy matters deeply. In fact, many of us frugal types are often generous to a fault, giving away significant chunks of our net worth year after year.
But there’s a trap here too: when every dollar is weighed against how many lives it could save, it’s easy to fall into a guilt spiral. Spending even $100 on a nice dinner starts to feel selfish. And that mentality can lead to a kind of warped martyrdom—where you deny yourself endlessly, even though you’ve already given abundantly.
The solution isn’t to stop giving. It’s to recognize that taking care of yourself, and even enjoying your life, isn’t a moral failing. You can do both. You should do both.
Give generously. Spend intentionally. And when the mood strikes—splurge joyfully.
The Frugal Path Forward: Mindful Spending, Shared Joy
This is where the accountability buddy comes back in. It’s not just about nudging you to buy stuff. It’s about helping you see when an experience is worth the money. It’s about encouraging generosity, spontaneity, and celebration. It’s someone saying, “You’ve worked hard. Let yourself enjoy it.”
So if you find yourself still flying coach when you could easily afford business class—or avoiding Whole Foods because the berries are too expensive—ask yourself what story you’re telling about money. And then ask a friend to help you rewrite it.
You’re not being wasteful when you spend on something that enriches your life. You’re not irresponsible for replacing that clunker in the driveway. You’re not a bad person for ordering the entrée you actually want.
You’re just human. A human who worked hard, saved wisely, gave generously—and now deserves to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Preferably in a quiet electric car with heated seats and mountain views outside the window.
So go ahead—find your accountability buddy. Say yes to the trip. Buy the berries. And let yourself live a little. You’ve earned it.
